Part 1 — Who Am I? Contexts and Identity

About 15 years or so ago while attending a conference, I was talking with a colleague about the nature of communities and, in particular, the notion of identity within communities. At some point, I mentioned that we all have multiple identities, at which time, she vehemently disagreed with me and asserted that she had one identity no matter where she was. This is our default position. I suspect that the vast majority of people think they have one consistent identity that spans their lives.[[1]] I also suspect that many, if not most, Western psychologists would agree. We have one ego that is in place throughout our lives. Such a view comes from Freud’s description of ego, along with the id and superego. Freud’s notion of ego is actually a basic description of human cognition. From this perspective all cognitive activities fall into one of these levels of “self” (i.e., Id, Ego, Superego). Our primal emotions and associated cognition is the id. The thinking and emotions that we recognize as part of our everyday lives is the ego, And, what is considered higher level emotions and thinking, such as pride, having a conscience that discriminates between bad and good, love, etc., are matters of the superego. Although this description of ego is still the predominant view, the growing sciences of complexity along with the increasing influence of older Eastern notions of the self and identity have been moving away from the Freudian view of ego or self towards a different way of viewing ego that isn’t just a static notion of self and our cognitive processes.[[2]]
The early work of many Eastern spiritual traditions, especially Buddhism, which studied human psychology rather intensively, conceived of ego in a different way. Their notion of “ego” differs in that rather than being an individual entity or a solid construct, ego is a set of processes that work to create the illusion of both a self and others (i.e., other people, perceived objects, etc.) as solid and separate entities. The processes of ego fill in gaps and justify our actions or the actions of others that may support or threaten our sense of continuity.[[3]] With the emergence of the complexity sciences, and more specifically, the study of complex living systems, the notion of a self is essential to the abilities to survive and self-maintain.[[4]] From an evolutionary perspective, this set of processes is necessary for survival, not only of the individual, but also of the individual as a component for the survival of the specie. Without some sense of a solid and continuous self, there would be no reason to attempt to avoid danger and defend oneself. However, we have developed ways of thinking that can allow us to still strive to survive, while not maintaining a solidified sense of identity. But, this statement is heavily based on whether we want to drop the seemingly singular and solid identity. And, that is a big “if.” Most of us are content dealing with the familiar self and all of its quirks, dFor those few thoughtless moments of less than a second, that seemed to go very, very slowly, there was a gap in the ordinary stream of thoughts that go through our heads to create a sense of continuity. And, that gap probably saved my life, but certainly saved my legs. And, this brings up a paradoxical situation. These ego processes fill in the gaps with streams of thoughts and many other “strategies” (I’m not sure “strategies” is a good word). As a consequence, we miss much of what is going on around us. We sacrifice awareness for a sense of continuity. But, how is this beneficial for survival? This seemingly contradictory situation seems to be handled by the complex processes of our cognition. What awareness we do have is geared to “noticing” events that don’t fit. The car pulling out in front of us was just such an event. And, that initiated the gap in the stream of thoughts in order to pay attention to survival.ifficulties, pain, and emotional upheavals. It’s familiar territory, and comforting even in its most problematic moments.
However, we all experience gaps in the processes of ego. These gaps can be disconcerting or frightening, especially if they last too long. But, we usually cover up and ignore the gaps as best we can and keep on going.
Personal Reflection & Story
“A Gap Just Before a Car Collision”
I remember one such gap in 1972 or early 1973, when I was hitchhiking from a job to home while in graduate school. I was picked up by a guy in a VW bus. I sat in the passenger seat — there were no seat-belts. As we approached town at the edge of the university, a car pulled out from a street with a stop sign. The driver of the VW didn’t have time to apply the brakes. So, it was probably less than a second between seeing the car and hitting the car. Of course, we hit the car with my side of the VW bus. But, what took less than a second felt like several seconds. I had no conscious thoughts. Everything went into slow motion. It may have been the first time I was ever totally aware of my environment and nothing else, except that I must have known that my legs were about to be cut off. But, in that fraction of a second, I swung my legs to the left and onto the top of the seat, just before we smashed into the left front end of the car that had pulled out. A couple of seconds later, I looked at the scene and the gaping hole in front of me. In a state of shock, I thought I could just get out of the car through the hole that was created in front and to the right of my seat. Then, I did just that, and walked over to the curb and sat down, looked at the cuts on my arm and, oddly enough, the inside of my left thigh. There wasn’t much bleeding, which I noted as a wonderful and life saving effect of “shock.” The young woman in the car we hit was freaking out as she came running up to me. I tried to calm her down, and assured her that I was okay. The driver of the VW bus seemed to have come out unscathed. In few minutes, the ambulance arrived. I walked over to them, but they told me to go back to the curb, where they put me on the gurney, which made no sense to me. Later that day, I was back in my apartment with a bunch of stitches in my right ear, which for some reason took the brunt of the accident, and a few stitches around my right elbow
For those few thoughtless moments of less than a second, that seemed to go very, very slowly, there was a gap in the ordinary stream of thoughts that go through our heads to create a sense of continuity. And, that gap probably saved my life, but certainly saved my legs. And, this brings up a paradoxical situation. These ego processes fill in the gaps with streams of thoughts and many other “strategies” (I’m not sure “strategies” is a good word). As a consequence, we miss much of what is going on around us. We sacrifice awareness for a sense of continuity. But, how is this beneficial for survival? This seemingly contradictory situation seems to be handled by the complex processes of our cognition. What awareness we do have is geared to “noticing” events that don’t fit. The car pulling out in front of us was just such an event. And, that initiated the gap in the stream of thoughts in order to pay attention to survival.
From Buddhist psychological perspectives, we really don’t need these ego processes, which often create all sorts of painful, stressful, and agonizing situations. Anger, jealousy, fear, and all sorts of anxieties and emotions are all part of the processes of ego. No matter how awful you feel during emotional upheavals, it’s all familiar territory, which we can then rationalize and justify ad finitum. We use the upheavals and other ups and downs to confirm the continuity and solidity of “ourselves.”
With the popularization of “mindfulness meditation,” people are beginning to experience bigger gaps in these ego processes. And, for many, it is very disturbing, and even result in major psychological issues. Many of these psychological issues occur because there is no preparation for the types of experiences that may arise. Some people who aren’t well trained in meditation end up teaching others how to meditate. Without a corresponding education in the psychological dynamics at play in ordinary life and how meditation can affect those dynamics is rarely addressed. In fact, meditation can be quite dangerous.[[5]] On the other hand, with a highly qualified teacher and appropriate study of the conceptual background, meditation can be one way to create more gaps and less attachment to the patterns of processes that try to create the illusion of continuity and solidity.
One of the big misunderstandings about meditation and the Buddhist notion of egolessness involves questions about how we can continue to live without an ego. From the Freudian perspective, egolessness is impossible, since this notion of ego is based on all of thinking processes that occur in a living human being, and probably most other organisms. The Buddhist version of egolessness has to do with the absence of grasping, clinging, and attachment to the patterns of cognition that create a sense of solidity and continuity. A solidified sense of self is not really necessary for thinking about a relationship, writing a essay (like this one), buying food, driving to the store, going to work, playing basketball, socializing, or whatever.
But, identity is more than what our egos try to do. Whether we like it or not, we have biological identities.[[6]] Our dogs, cats, and other animals with heightened senses of smell can identify one another, as well as their human companions. Trees can identify their siblings and offspring, as well as others of their same or different species. Such biological identities, which we might call biochemical signatures, are ubiquitous across all living things, and are important for cooperation and survival. As mentioned previously, identity is a necessary characteristic of all complex living systems, which includes every cell, every organ system, every individual, and every community of different species of living organisms. Each cell in our body has its own biological identity, which is necessary for our biological organs and systems to work cooperatively. And, of course, cellular identity is crucial for the functioning of our immune system, where immune cells must be able to differentiate between invaders and “residents.” When there is a problem in discriminating, and our immune cells start attacking the “residents,” we refer to this as an autoimmune disease.
We also have other physical identities, which is an offshoot of our biological identities. . When we look in the mirror or see someone or some living organism, there are physical characteristics that are usually unique to that individual. Humans rely on seeing physical features in order to identify a person or a pet. We also use sounds we or others make, which are mostly vocalizations, but can include sounds of footsteps or the sounds of someone’s sneezing or laughing. We can answer our phones without looking at the phone’s id and know with whom we’re talking by recognizing the person’s voice. And, in some cases, we recognize other physical entities that we associate with a specific person.
Personal Reflection & Story
“Identity and Relationships in Cats and Dogs”
In college, I had an indoor—outdoor cat, who would hear my car coming down the street and run and sit on top of a brick wall along the sidewalk where I parked. My previous dog, a Doberman pinscher, not only recognizes my wife’s and my car, but also the cars of her dog and human friends. On one visit to a Flagstaff dog park, after we had been away for a couple of years, she saw the car of one of her friends coming down the street and started pacing around excitedly as the car approached and parked. She did the same sort of thing at a dog park in Phoenix. If we arrived before her friends, she’d stand by the fence and look for her friends’ cars, which she could spot about a quarter of a mile away. She’d either pace excitedly or stand in her stalking and ready to attack her friend position. And, part of this particular anticipatory posture was her love of building tension, much like when she and a friend would stand about 20 feet away from one another while staring intently and moving in towards one another in slow motion, until at one point they’d either start wrestling or chasing each other.
Identity, in the cases of dogs, cats, and other animals, including people, is important to developing relationships. Dog friendships often start with relatively gentle wrestling, which builds in intensity over time as they develop more trust in one another. People go through similar patterns in their relationships, where familiarity and some degree of trust is developed over time. Developing such relationships is critical in social organisms. And, such relationships become part of one’s own identity, as well as the identities of others. The psychological characteristics of an individual are layered into the physical—biological characteristics of that individual, and become an elaborated identity.
Our identities are further elaborated upon by a number of other contexts. The list below is a partial list of the contexts that may affect our identities.
- Family contexts
- Social contexts
- Cultural contexts
- Regional contexts
- National contexts
- Ethnic contexts
- Linguistic contexts
- Religious or Spiritual contexts
- Racial contexts
- Gender-Sex contexts
- Class contexts
- Economic contexts
- Educational contexts
- Talent, Skill, Athletic, Hobby contexts
- Occupational-Professional contexts
- Political contexts
- Relational contexts
- Object-Event-Situational contexts
All of these contexts contribute to and are intertwined with our own identities. And, some more than others affect the rigidity or flexibility of our identities. Mark Bracher contends that more highly educated people have more flexible identities.[[7]] However, the nature and focus of that education has a great deal to do with whether one develops a more flexible or a more rigid identity. Learning from the contexts we encounter or in which we live can lead to deep, extensive, and robust understandings of the contexts. However, such learning also can lead to shallow and trivialized understandings and the development or initiation of biases.
Personal Reflection & Story
“A Trip to India — Learning from a Novel Context”
On a visit to India about 30 years ago, I remember sitting on a bench in downtown Mumbai and watching people walk by. Of the Europeans and Americans who walked by, the younger people seemed to be much more comfortable, relaxed, and engaged with life in Mumbai. On the other hand, many of the older and wealthier tourists appeared to be very uncomfortable, tense, and put-off by life in India. They looked like they couldn’t wait to leave and go home. The learning for people in both groups was completely different.
In the next essay in this series, we’ll dive a bit more deeply into learning and education and their effects on identity, with particular emphasis on the continuum from rigidity to flexibility of identity. But, I do want to dive a bit more deeply into the identity—context dynamics.
Our identities begin to form based on membership in and interactions with our families. As we grow. Our interactions with others and the metamessages of daycare centers, schools, religious centers, etc. extend and begin to foster different identities. Although our primary identity that developed from our families and other early interactions remains relatively stable, although not entirely, new identities arise from our primary identity.
There appear to be three basic forms or types of identity. One type of identity is based on our biochemical and physical features. Another type arises from our construction of how we perceive ourselves, which can include all of the identities that are based on various contexts.. This is our primary identity and its contextual variations. The other type includes our social identities, which are constructed by others. For me, the moments at which I confront these perceived-by-others-identities is almost always shocking and perplexing. Some of these moments occur when interacting with people to whom I am very close. Other striking moments have occurred within teaching contexts with both children and adults. Children tend to be much more honest and straightforward, and will tell you what they are thinking and who they think you are. But, adult students tend not to tell you what they think, at least not directly. Anonymous course evaluations may provide evidence of their perceptions of your identity. At other times, you get feedback from other students. In one such case, I had three students tell me that a specific other student was terrified by me. That instance was extraordinarily perplexing for me. The students who told me weren’t afraid of me. From my perspective, I’ve always tried to create more laid back, accommodating, and equitable classroom contexts. But, obviously for some students, their perceptions of me were not at all similar to my intentions. I suspect that it may have something to do with my sense of humor that often plays off of irony and paradoxical situations of specific contexts. And, the behaviors, actions, and status of schooling is one of my favorite targets for humorous jabs. A contributing factor could be my facial expressiveness, or lack thereof. I’ve noticed in my attempts to take selfies that my face isn’t as expressive as I think it is. I think I have a big smile and then I look at the photo and see no smile whatsoever. It’s like I have an almost permanent poker-face. This certainly may throw off some people who don’t pick up on other clues as to what my intentions are. So, these three basic types of identity are the basis upon which other offshoots of identity form. Each context in which we engage can provide the grist of changes in our identities.
Personal Reflection & Story
“Personal Identities & Identity Shifts”
If I use my life as an example, a rather major identity change occurred as I became passionate about sharks when I was about 12 years old. I spent a lot of time in university libraries, dissecting sharks, then trying to keep live sharks at home, and by high school working with live sharks at a local aquarium showplace. Others tagged me as the shark-kid, and I assumed some degree of an “expert” identity. However a big identity shift occurred during this time. After getting a live smooth dogfish shark from Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute, my high school chemistry teacher who joined me on the trip to pick up the shark, picked me up to drive me to school on the morning of day 3 of having my big, 42-inch fish family member. He asked how she was doing, and I said, "not well. The only thing left to do is pray for her." His almost automatic and off-the-cuff response was, "won't help." Those two words must have bounced around my head for months and turned my whole worldview and my associated identity upside-down. I'm sure he never knew what he did. A couple of decades later, I tried to contact him to tell the story and thank him for the prod that changed my life, but sadly he had already died, and way too young at that.
I also worked a number of jobs from the time I could legally work. The first was a golf caddy, then a “soda jerk” in a drug store. I worked as an animal care-taker in a big pharmaceutical company, an office worker in a medical laboratory, a wheel assembler on huge forklifts in a local factory, and an aquarist at the aquarium showplace that had provided me with access to live sharks a few years earlier. I worked throughout college in a similar range of jobs. Then, my first career-type job was as a biologist in an oceanographic laboratory. After catching a passion-to-teach-kids bug, I started teaching middle school science. With a brief period between teaching jobs, I sold, or more accurately “tried to sell”, houses, followed by house painting with a friend. And, then I returned grad school, followed by a longer career as an academic. Each of these jobs affected my identity. As a result, I was particularly aware of how my identity was different when talking to most academic colleagues, but this was not one of my most “comfortable” identities. I felt much more comfortable talking with the custodians, carpenters, secretaries, and most students. But, interactions with many students were much more tedious due to what I assume was a disparity between my identity as I perceived it and my identity as some students perceived it.
In general, it is interesting how people identify themselves when asked to introduce themselves to a new person or group. White Westerners will usually identify themselves by name, occupation, hometown, sometimes religion, things they like to do, such as sports or hobbies. Traditional or semi-traditional Native Americans may say their name, but that will be followed by a description of their matrilineal clan lineage. However, if Native Americans are in a crowd of mostly white people, they may just limit their introduction to name and where they are from. When I was teaching at Northern Arizona University, I would have students introduce themselves by name, where they were from, and what their passions were. Almost all students had difficulty with their passions. Many would say shopping, watching TV, etc. Far too many had no passions. But, a few would say reading, painting, doing crafts, hiking, sports, etc. One young woman said her passion was flying. She was an 18 or 19 year old certified pilot. And, I would always introduce myself in the same way, with a bit more elaboration of historical passions, places I’ve lived, jobs I’ve had, and a list of some of my passions, which included, reading, exploring, investigating, photography, writing poetry, observing and learning about our living world, watching good movies, listening to music, making and repairing things, swimming, golf, puzzles of many kinds, learning from my students, an early, from when I was 12 years old, passion for sharks, and getting to know lots of different people from different cultures and places. All of these sorts of activities, interests, occupations, religions, nationalities, cultures, languages spoken, ethnicities, races, and physical appearances are central to people’s images of who they are. However, Mark Leary’s research has shown that some people identify themselves in more global ways, such as being a human or one of a large variety of living things, rather than an individual in a smaller and more narrowly defined group or groups.[[8]]
In summary, we and all other living organisms have what we may think of as layers of identity, as well as what we might call “facets” of identity. Each cell in multicellular organisms have a biological or biochemical identity. Then, each individual organism has a biological identity. These layers of identity are at the very foundation of living systems. Physical identity are structural features of individuals, and, at higher levels, of species, family, order, etc. Features of both biological and physical identities can be used to identify various levels at which we classify organisms. The next layer is a bit hazier, although one may think of it as more definitive, and that we might call our personal—psychological identity. As discussed earlier this identity is the one we create from birth onward through a variety of psychological processes. This identity consists of a wide variety of patterns in the way we think, act, respond, talk, etc. As we age, many of the patterns remain, others are modified, and other change completely. But, we conceive of this identity as being continuous even though much may have changed.
The next layer is one that arises from personal identities, but which also affects our personal identities. I’m calling these contextual identities. Rather than a seemingly consistent identity, these identities slip into place and modify the way we act, talk, respond, etc., as well as how we “see” ourselves in a particular context. Most of us manifest these different variations in identities at work, at home, going out with friends, in a doctor’s office, behind the wheels of our cars, and so forth. And, even within these contexts, we may have different identities, such as at work when the boss is in the same location and at work with just our fellow employees. I’ve met a few politicians, the vast majority of which are very guarded and scripted in the way they talk and interact. With my propensity for making stupid jokes out of ordinary situations, most politicians immediately get defensive and tighten up. Only one state senator that I’ve met, laughed and retorted with an equally inane joke. Medical doctors are often the same way, but not nearly to the degree of politicians. College and university professors also put on guises of solidified positions in some fabricated hierarchy. They snort back if you don’t call them “Professor….” or “Doctor….” But, not all do. In my undergraduate liberal arts college, most professors went by their first names. The same was true in graduate programs at universities, but to a lesser extent. Medical doctors also seem to be more intent of being called “doctor,” although a surgeon, who removed a tiny spot of cancer off my nose (fortunately I have a big nose and there was lots of tissue to spare for the repair), walked in and introduced himself as “Dr. Tony whatever-his-name-was, but call me Tony.” That may have been a first for me. Contextual identities are interesting to observe in oneself and others. But, it’s very interesting to observe what happens when you enter a completely foreign context for the first time. My first visit to India was a masterpiece of contextual identity short-circuiting. Although some of the contexts appeared to be similar to those at home, they were far from being anywhere near identical. I felt like I was in a different universe, where I had to re-work the scripts (how to do things in a certain context) that would automatically come into play when entering a store, a restroom/washroom, airport, and accommodations. And, then I couldn’t wrap my head around the expansive slums with men walking out in shirt and tie, then getting on a bus.

The final layer is social identity. These identities are how others perceive you. And, these identities can be highly variable and not correspond to one’s own view of oneself. Some, and far too many, social identities are the result of the viewer’s personal biases and bigotries. Some maybe patterned after the viewer’s prior experiences with certain features that you manifest. Some may arise from the viewer’s emotional state at the time or from the emotional state in similar contexts. We can get clues about people’s social identities of ourselves from what and how they say something or how they act or react in our presence. With our closest family and friends, we may get more direct descriptions of our social identities. However, the best people to tell us how they see us are children. We also may get feedback from dogs and cats. Although I have one cat, I just don’t understand. She runs across the room and jumps on my lap when I sit down, her eyes roll back in her head and she purrs up a storm as I pet her, then occasionally flips and bites very aggressively. Her love bites are usually gentle chewing on my fingers. Fortunately, we heal, but I think she has a neurological disorder that disrupts her perceptions and emotion state on occasions.

Our identities affect how we feel, act, talk, respond, and interact in specific contexts and situations. They can affect how we perceive others and how we are perceived. They can affect how we see the world around us and how we navigate our way through the complexities of Twenty-First Century life. In the following parts in this series, we’ll explore how experiences and learning affect how we relate to our identities, and how rigid or flexible we are in relation to our identities. We’ll then explore how identities affect our relationships, our participation in various communities, and how we respond to media, politics, and other social contexts.
Explorations
You may like to explore further some of the ideas in this essay. If so, you may find the references I’ve cited a good start on burgeoning literature. In addition, you may want to ponder some of the questions below, and do some of the suggested activities. These questions and activities may be interesting family activities, as well. And, please share your thoughts and insights in the Members’ Forum and/or the Comments box, below. I’d love to hear what you have to say, and look forward to engaging conversations.
- Who am I? — Jot down a description of who you think you are. Is this description the same as one you might give in introducing yourself to someone new? Do you modify this description in different contexts (job interview, professional or occupational contexts, at a party or other social gathering, etc.)?
- Further Reflections on “Who am I?” — Have you ever felt that you’ve done or said things that don’t align with your description of who you are? Have you noticed anything about how you think or otherwise deal with the discrepancies?
- Mind and Self. — Spend a little bit of time in different acuities and settings paying attention to what’s going on in your head. Some suggestions: • When you are sitting around at home, try paying attention to your breath going and out. Do this for at least several minutes. Do you notice thoughts popping up, while losing track of paying attention to your breathing? When you realize you’ve stopped noticing your breathing, just drop the story in your head and go back to paying attention to your breathing? • If you are walking down a street or through a natural setting, do the same sort of thing, but instead of paying attention to your breathing, pay attention to the movement of your feet. • Are any of these thoughts going through your head of anything significant or important? Can you think of a reason why they popped up in that particular instance? • As you think of it, try noticing how you respond to different stimuli, such as, in a conversation with a friend, with a boss or superior at work, and with all sorts of other people. Do you notice whether you tighten up and become defensive? Do you ever see yourself agreeing with someone even though you don’t really agree? Or, do you ever disagree with someone when you actually agree? How do you react to different types of people you see during the day (you can walk down a crowded street or store and notice how your mind reacts to different people)?
INTRODUCTION & TABLE OF CONTENTS for This Series
Part 1 — Who Am I? Contexts and Identity --- You're here!
Part 2 — Learning and the Rigidity and Flexibility of Identity
Part 3 — Identity in Relationships, Groups, and Communities
Part 4 — Identity and the Fractures, Double Binds, and Schismogenesis in Social and Political Contexts
NOTES
[[1]] Heshmat (2014), Degges-White (2021), Leary (2019)
[[2]] Niebauer (2019)
[[3]] Niebauer (2019), Trungpa (1987)
[[4]] Maturana & Varela (1992), Thompson (2007), Varela (1997), Varela, Thompson, & Rosch (2016)
[[5]] Farias (2024)
[[6]] Maturana & Varela (1992), Villarreal (2009), Varela (1997)
[[7]] Bracher (2006)
[[8]] Leary (2019)
REFERENCES
- Bracher, M. (2006). Radical Pedagogy: Identity, generativity, and social transformation. New York: Palgrave MacMillan.
- Degges-White, S. (2021, October 15). Personal and Social Identity: Who Are You Through Others’ Eyes. Psychology Today.
- Farias, M. (2024, October 25). Meditation And Mindfulness Have a Dark Side We Don’t Talk About. Science Alert.
- Heshmat, S. (2014, December 8). Basics of Identity. Psychology Today.
- Leary, M. (2019, September 27). A Different Kind of Identity. Society for Personality and Social Psychology website.
- Maturana, H. R., & Varela, F. J. (1992). The tree of knowledge: The biological roots of human understanding (Rev. ed). Boston, MA: Shambhala.
- Niebauer, C. (2019). No self, no problem: How neuropsychology is catching up to Buddhism. San Antonio, TX: Hierophant Publishing.
- Thompson, E. (2007). Mind in life. Cambridge, MA: Belknap Press.
- Trungpa, C., Baker, J., & Casper, M. (1987). Cutting through spiritual materialism. Boston, MA: Shambhala.
- Varela, F. (1997). Patterns of life: Intertwining identity and cognition. Brain and Cognition, 34, 72–87.
- Varela, F. J., Thompson, E., & Rosch, E. (2016). The embodied mind: Cognitive science and human experience (revised edition). MIT Press.
- Villarreal, L. P. (2009). Origin of Group Identity: Viruses, Addiction, and Cooperation. New York: Springer.
© 2024 by Jeffrey W Bloom
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This series is very grounding and slows down the rush. I find myself travelling out with the author. Thought clusters.…