Strength, Power, & Control

Current State of Schooling, Society, & the Environment -- Exploration 2

Developed by Jeff Bloom

Over many years, I've been observing dogs as a dog parent or just as a dog lover. Dogs seem to have as much variation in personality and ways of relating to their worlds as humans have. If you've watched dogs greet one another, especially dogs who do not know each other, their ways of doing so vary along a couple of continuums. One continuum ranges from immediately aggressive to overly friendly and jumping all over the new dog. Another continuum varies from intense avoidance to very interested. We can probably come up with other continuums, but these two are quite interesting. Taking a few giant steps away from the immediately aggressive dogs are the posturing dogs. They come up to another dog while trying to look a big as possible... shoulders raised, head held up high, kind of an overall stiff posture, and maybe hair standing up straight along the middle of the back. As we move further away from the aggressive and posturing approaches, we come to a more relaxed greeting and maybe with more face to face interaction than smelling butts. Here the heads may be held normally or slightly downward and tails may be wagging. When I'd see a posturing dog approaching my dog, I would go into alert mode. My dog was pretty laid back and mild mannered, but she had limits of what kinds of behavior she'd tolerate. From my experiences, greetings with posturing dogs could result in play, avoidance, or something much more unpleasant. Although my dog never fought, she would try to defend herself. One time a pit bull who she thought was playing attacked her and bit her front leg, resulting in several hundred dollars in vet bills. While the pit bull was hanging onto her, she was gently trying to extract the pit from her leg. And, she was a 90-pound Doberman.

We pretty much manifest along the same sorts of continuums. We have the posturers and overly friendly greeters. We have the cowerers and the keenly interested listeners. With dogs, we usually get what we see. There usually are no hidden agendas and no deceit, unless it is in play or in some way that will not damage relationships. With people there are all sorts of hidden agendas, motivations, expectations, and so forth that can underlie many of the outward manifestations of greetings and of relating to others.

Posturing and macho displays seem to ebb and flow over periods of time and in different cultures. And, we seem to be in a flow period right now. Not only do power and control or, at least, a fantasy of power and control, drive certain people, but also some sort of fantasy of strength. This fantasy of strength is purely at a base level, where strength is envisioned at tough, mean, uncaring, opinionated, and so forth. Many leaders of nations, especially authoritarian or wanna-be authoritarian leaders, manifest this iciness. Such fantasies of what strength are actually quite dangerous, but for some reason many people identify such images of strength as actual strength. However, I suspect that behind these fantasies are insecure and desperately fearful people. True strength, if I may use that phrase, appears to involve a deeper sense of confidence and well-being, of equanimity and compassion, of unshakeable vulnerability, where one is not subject to the tidal waves of hope and fear. But, so much of our social and political contexts are inundated with images of strength as having big weapons and big egos.

What is strength? Certainly, there is physical strength, but what about psychological strength? Is psychological strength manifest as a solidified sense of who we think we are? Or, does psychological strength involve an unflappable quality, where we are not tossed around by what others say or do or by events that happen to us? For me, the sense of a solidified sense of self seems ultimately fragile. If we try to keep such a sense of self, we are always on guard and struggling to maintain this manifestation of self. We can't let our guard down or be open. And, we especially can't appear to be vulnerable. On the other hand, being able to just be vulnerable, to let our guard down, and to be open with others seems to involve a greater sense of strength.

One position is a house made of cards on a windy day
&
the other position is a tree swaying in the wind, but firmly rooted in the earth.

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Story

Sometimes I feel like a house of cards and sometimes like a tree. And, sometimes I feel somewhere in between. About 20 years ago I went to a regular meeting to which I had to fly every month or so. My aging mother lived a couple of hours away from the meeting, so I would rent a car and go visit her for a day or two before or after the meeting, then return home. For one meeting, my mom had just gone to the hospital, so I flew in a bit early and went to visit her in the hospital. When I arrived in the evening, my brother and his wife were sitting in her room looking rather glum. The nurses said that the doctors thought she had a couple of weeks left to live. I then went over and held her hand. She squeezed my hand and tried to talk, but only indiscernible sounds came out. I had been with her during a few hospitalizations, but this time, I knew she had no fight left in her. She was dying. I leaned over and whispered in her ear that we loved her, that everything was okay, and that she could let go. The next morning, I went to the hospital. She was not responsive to my presence, but was in a lot of pain. I sat with her until she went to sleep. I called my department chairperson and told her what was happening and that I didn't know when I'd return. She wished me well. I then thought that since I'd probably be around for a week or two, I'd go off and play golf. Halfway through the round, I got a call from the hospital. They said my mom's breathing had changed, which was indicative of impending death. So, headed back to the hospital. When I approached the room, a nurse stopped me and said that my mom had just died and didn't want me to be shocked entering the room. I asked if I could stay with her in the room for a while. They said yes. I went into the room, leaned over her body and said goodbye, then sat in a chair. I started to do mindfulness meditation and immediately felt like the room was electrified and actually quite joyful. My mom had been going blind. She had been an avid reader and crossword puzzle master and not being able to read, as well as having great difficulty moving around, she was ready to check out. Maybe this was a joyful moment for her. Most unexpectedly, the whole experience of those two days felt very "normal," whatever normal is. But, it wasn't emotionally charged. It just felt ordinary, but slightly weird. The most emotional part occurred weeks later when I was sorting through a box of her things and found a make-up kit. For some reason, the make-up kit triggered an emotional response.

Then about 20 years later, I took my dog, who was just past nine and a half years old and suffering from a few maladies, to a cardiologist. Her other veterinarians noticed a heart murmur and thought she needed further investigations. After the exam, the cardiologist told me that she had an enlarged heart, typical of Dobermans, which was causing the murmur. She also had the dog version of what is called pre-ventricular contractions (PVCs) in humans. However, the dog version is quite dangerous. He told me that without medications she could live 6 more months and with medications, maybe a year and a half. We left with medications which were started as soon as we got home. Then three days later, I was coming out of the shower before bed, when I heard her yelp. The yelp sounded like her almost nightly yelp to go outside one more time before bed. I poked my head out of the bathroom and she was just lying motionless on the floor. Unlike the death experience with my mom, I lost it. The house of cards was blown over. All of my mental preparations for my four-legged friend's death blew out the window. Six months later, I still find it difficult to think and write about that evening.

Maybe being vulnerable allows us to experience our house of cards being blown down without the struggle to avoid the pain, as well as allowing us to face other situations as completely ordinary, like a tree blowing in the wind? Maybe strength involves not trying to keep everything under control or not trying to exert power over others or even ourselves?


My dog, Mugetsu, smiling and relaxing in the dog park 9 days before she died. ©2020 Jeffrey W. Bloom

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EXPLORATIONS

• Where do we see these instances of "strength" portrayed in the media and in everyday life?
• What are these portrayals of strength used for?
• How is strength portrayed?
• What are your experiences of "strength" in yourself and others?

Strength is an interesting and slippery concept. It can refer to muscular or physical strength. It also can refer to a psychological state associated with aggression. In addition, it can refer to some sense of a psychological state of stability, balance, equanimity, perseverance, persistence, confidence, humility, and even compassion. In the latter sense, comfort with one's own vulnerability and a willingness to expose this vulnerability can be considered an expression of strength.

How many of the examples you found in the previous explorations align with each type of strength just described? Also, if you can think of other categories or types of strength, please add them.

"Power" may seem to be related to strength, but seems to be of a different logical type or of a different character. While strength is typically a quality of some person or entity, power is not so much of a quality as it is an ability or a capacity. A person may be strong, but may not have any power. Someone else may lack strength, but have a great deal of power.

"Control" again seems to be at a different level of classification than strength or power. It may often take power to control people, but there are other means of control can be used. An authoritarian leader has the power to control people, at least to control their behavior. However, systemic control can often occur in more subtle ways. Propaganda can be quite explicit, but also much more subtle. News releases, advertising, and careful use of wording in interviews or public announcements can influence how people think and act. Then, there is the repetition of lies or misinformation. People do start to believe the lies and misinformation when they keep hearing them.

Education systems can be designed to focus on certain information, which can be completely false, while ignoring other information. Education also can be used as a sort of oxymoronic strategy of keeping children dumbed down, so that they are more easily controlled when they become adults. In fact, in the U.S., corporate, government, and academic entities were pushing for approaches to education that emphasized promoting conformity, obedience, not questioning authority, and minimizing deep learning and thinking [1]. None of these more subtle means of control require overt strength or power. In the world today, we are seeing how various nations, groups of individuals, and even individuals have been manipulating people through misinformation on social media without any overt expressions of power. In fact, the more cannot be seen to have power or strength, the more effective they can be at influencing others.

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Note

[1] • Gatto, J. T. (2002). Some lessons from the underground history of American education. In R. Kick (Ed.), Everything you know is wrong: The disinformation guide to secrets and lies (pp. 274–287). New York: The Disinformation Company. • Gatto, J. (1991). Dumbing us down: The hidden curriculum of compulsory schooling. New York: New Society Publishers. • Marshall, J. D., Sears, J. T., & Allen, L. A. (2007). Turning points in curriculum (2nd ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall. • Sears, J. T., & Marshall, J. D. (Eds.). (1990). Teaching and thinking about curriculum. New York: Teachers College Press.

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